i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
