after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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