oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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