Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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