I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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