I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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