some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
