At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
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Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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