I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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