I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We talked him into tasing himself.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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