the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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