Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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