So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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