We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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