I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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