we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
