I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's not a walk of shame if you run
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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