I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize