BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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