I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
