I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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