This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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