I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
