You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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