Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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