I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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