dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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