That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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