so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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