Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
