i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
