Define "chronic" masturbator.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
