please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
