ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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