I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
