She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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