Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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