Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
