what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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