i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize