new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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