My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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