It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
