Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
