What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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