I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
