do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
