About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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