We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
