C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
