toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
