if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My liver just broke up with me...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
