So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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